The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 26: Snowman at the Seaside

26 Jan , 2013  

Snowman at the Seaside

He told us it was his life-long dream to feel the sand between his toes and the sun on his back, to build a sand castle and maybe even spend his £2 on a donkey ride. We told him it probably wouldn’t end well.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 25: The Singing Postbox

25 Jan , 2013  

The Singing Letterbox

His rendition of Nessun dorma is breathtaking.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 24: The Talented Mr. Snowman

24 Jan , 2013  

Six Ball Snowman

He managed to make it all the way to 12 snowballs, but I was clapping so hard I forgot to take a photo.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 23: Peter, Toast Eater

23 Jan , 2013  

Toast Monster

Peter only eats toast. “It’s all I can fit in my mouth” he says. I suggested he should buy a knife and try slicing other foods until they also fit. He just popped another slice of bread in the toaster, looked at me in disgust, and turned away.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 22: Atteeeeention!

22 Jan , 2013  

Parking Attendant

Any illegal, or even slightly bad parking, and he’ll crush you like the puny human underling that you are.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 21: Beware the Bread Shark

21 Jan , 2013  

Trampoline Bread Shark

I used to love trampolines. They said I was going to be a champion. That dream ended the day a Bread Shark took my leg.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 20: E.T. phone home

20 Jan , 2013  

E.T. phone home

The original puppet from 1982′s E.T: The Extra Terrestrial. I bought it on eBay. I had to sell our car and all the kids toys, but I just had to have it. It’s not quite how I remember it, but I’m happy with my purchase. (Also, I thought I’d never ever find a genuine use for Photoshop’s ‘Lens Flare’ filter – I’m happy to be proved wrong)

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 19: The Mime

19 Jan , 2013  

The Mime

If you put a coin in his hat, he’ll do something amusing, like turn his head every so slightly, quite slowly, and stare blankly at you. The crowds love his amusing slow blank stare. His ‘Heavy Invisible Box’ routine is the killer though, they can’t get enough of that one. (And no, I can’t draw hands)

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 15: Bubble Penguin

15 Jan , 2013  

Bubble Penguin

Bubble Penguin needs a hug

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 14: Join the Dots – Tapeworm

14 Jan , 2013  

Join The Dots

Is it cheating to use the same idea I’ve used on a previous day? Probably, but I’ve got to try do 365 of these, so I don’t really care.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 13: Timber!

13 Jan , 2013  

Timber!

It wasn’t even a particularly windy day.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 12: Sippin’ on Ice Tea

12 Jan , 2013  

Sippin' on ice tea

When Door-stop Owl’s not stopping doors, he likes to spend his time drinking ice tea and thinking up ideas for his new collection of short stories.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 11: Pimp Hat

11 Jan , 2013  

Bottle Hat

Bottle started to go bad the day he didn’t get the role of Captain Large on Button Moon.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 10: Panasonic Bread Pig

10 Jan , 2013  

Panasonic Bread Pig

Every kitchen needs a Panasonic Bread Pig. The SD-2501 includes a Diamond Fluoro-coated kneading blade, and likes to be tickled.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 9: Mystic Aardvark

9 Jan , 2013  

Day 9: Mystic Aardvark

Mystic Aardvark knows what you’re thinking. Mystic Aardvark knows you think he looks like bit like a pig. Mystic Aardvark is sad.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 8: Global Warming

8 Jan , 2013  

Global Warming

A scientifically accurate depiction of what it will (almost certainly) look like when the Earth is consumed by the Sun in 5 billion years time.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 7: Fishing for Luckies

7 Jan , 2013  

Fishing for Luckies

The blue fish and the white fish will both be caught. The worm will be eaten. Everyone dies. Have a nice day.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 5: Polar Bear in the Playground

5 Jan , 2013  

Polar Bear in the Playground

Polar bears – surprisingly light

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 4: Clock in the Owl Tower

4 Jan , 2013  

Clock in the Owl Tower

He waits; that’s what he does. And I tell you what: tick followed tock followed tick followed tock followed tick…

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 3: Join The Dots – Nonsensical Edition

3 Jan , 2013  

Join The Dots: Nonsensical Edition

If anything, it looks a bit like a stretched piece of bacon.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 2: Dog Cowboy

2 Jan , 2013  

Dog Cowboy

Some people call him the dog cowboy, some call him the gangster of love. Some people call him Maurice. No one’s ever bothered to ask him his real name.

The Failed 2013 Project 365

Day 1: The Rainbow Painter

1 Jan , 2013  

The Rainbow Painter

All that stuff they teach you at school about spectrum’s of light and the suns rays refracting through water droplets? Load of rubbish.