He told us it was his life-long dream to feel the sand between his toes and the sun on his back, to build a sand castle and maybe even spend his £2 on a donkey ride. We told him it probably wouldn’t end well.

His rendition of Nessun dorma is breathtaking.

He managed to make it all the way to 12 snowballs, but I was clapping so hard I forgot to take a photo.

Peter only eats toast. “It’s all I can fit in my mouth” he says. I suggested he should buy a knife and try slicing other foods until they also fit. He just popped another slice of bread in the toaster, looked at me in disgust,

Any illegal, or even slightly bad parking, and he’ll crush you like the puny human underling that you are.

I used to love trampolines. They said I was going to be a champion. That dream ended the day a Bread Shark took my leg.

The original puppet from 1982′s E.T: The Extra Terrestrial. I bought it on eBay. I had to sell our car and all the kids toys, but I just had to have it. It’s not quite how I remember it, but I’m happy with my purchase. (Also,

If you put a coin in his hat, he’ll do something amusing, like turn his head every so slightly, quite slowly, and stare blankly at you. The crowds love his amusing slow blank stare. His ‘Heavy Invisible Box’ routine is the

Bubble Penguin needs a hug

Is it cheating to use the same idea I’ve used on a previous day? Probably, but I’ve got to try do 365 of these, so I don’t really care.

It wasn’t even a particularly windy day.

When Door-stop Owl’s not stopping doors, he likes to spend his time drinking ice tea and thinking up ideas for his new collection of short stories.

Bottle started to go bad the day he didn’t get the role of Captain Large on Button Moon.

Every kitchen needs a Panasonic Bread Pig. The SD-2501 includes a Diamond Fluoro-coated kneading blade, and likes to be tickled.

Mystic Aardvark knows what you’re thinking. Mystic Aardvark knows you think he looks like bit like a pig. Mystic Aardvark is sad.

A scientifically accurate depiction of what it will (almost certainly) look like when the Earth is consumed by the Sun in 5 billion years time.

The blue fish and the white fish will both be caught. The worm will be eaten. Everyone dies. Have a nice day.

Polar bears – surprisingly light

He waits; that’s what he does. And I tell you what: tick followed tock followed tick followed tock followed tick…

If anything, it looks a bit like a stretched piece of bacon.

Some people call him the dog cowboy, some call him the gangster of love. Some people call him Maurice. No one’s ever bothered to ask him his real name.

All that stuff they teach you at school about spectrum’s of light and the suns rays refracting through water droplets? Load of rubbish.